Brothers
by aMUSEment345
Summary: One shot. Post-ep for 11 X 16, 'Derek'. It's been three days, and Reid hasn't left the hospital.
_**A.N. I hadn't been planning on a companion piece to 'My Brother, Pretty Boy'. But Reid insisted. One shot, post -ep for 11X16, 'Derek'.**_

* * *

 **Brothers**

"Hey, Spence."

He broke away from staring out the window. In the glare of the morning sun, he hadn't been able to see her reflection as she approached him.

"Hi."

"Any word?"

"None that anyone is sharing with me."

He turned around and sat on the small ledge fronting the glass. The skyscape of the nation's capital hung as artwork inside the frame. Now that he looked at her directly, he could see she was a bit disheveled.

"Are you okay? You look..."

She rolled her eyes. "Like I ran out of the house half put together? That's because I did. Thanks to your godsons."

He managed a small smile. "What were they up to now?"

"Argh. Michael is crawling now, did I tell you? Well, actually, it's more of a commando creep, since he can't quite get his belly off the ground. And he managed to make his way over to where Henry left his homework on the floor, where it shouldn't have been, of course, and..."

"Oh, no. He ate it?"

She laughed. "No, that's for dogs. He drooled all over it. So Henry had a fit, and wants me to send Michael back to wherever he came from."

Reid laughed, even as he pondered how it was that the boys could bring a smile to his face, even in absentia. And even in such worrisome circumstances.

"I thought Henry was thrilled to have a little brother. He's always so proud to tell me how he's the one who's best at making Michael smile and laugh. He's told me a hundred times how much Michael loves him."

"Oh, he's very protective of Michael. Except when it comes to himself. Henry will make sure none of his friends will upset Michael, and he'll make sure they're very careful if they're over for a play date or something. And then he'll turn around and make him cry by taking away a toy."

Reid hadn't seen that side of Henry yet. "Is he jealous?"

"Maybe, a little. But I think he's mostly just impatient. He thought getting a brother would be different from how it's been, and he's tired of waiting for Michael to get old enough to really play with him. Pretty much, your number one godson basks in the adulation of number two. Until number two is a 'pain in the neck'."

"Ah, but he's a very cute little pain in the neck." Reid considered a moment, not sure if it was his place. But he _was_ their godfather. "Do you want me to talk with him?"

She shook her head. "No. It's normal. They're brothers. That's what brothers do. They love each other, and they annoy each other."

"Part of the job description?"

She smiled. "Sure seems so. Anyway, I'm here now. I can spell you. Although," she looked up and down the corridor, "I thought Garcia would be here."

"She is. She's inside. Savannah, too."

"Oh. Well, we're a fearsome trio. You can go home and get some sleep. Hotch says we'll stand down until Friday, anyway."

"I'm okay. I think I'd rather stay here."

She took stock of him. "You look exhausted. You need…." And then she _really_ took stock of him. "Are those the same clothes you were wearing….. Spence, have you been here this whole time?"

There was no reason for him to feel guilty, but the look crept into his features nonetheless.

"Spence."

She sat down next to him, the two of them sharing the shallow ledge. She twisted her head around so that she was in his line of sight, as she laid a hand on his arm.

"You can't help him by wearing yourself out. Have you even slept?"

"On and off. One of the night nurses brought a chair out here for me, but she said it was too busy during the day."

JJ turned sideways, eyes to the window. But, like Reid before her, she failed to take in the outline of their nation's capital. Instead, she flashed back to the horrific scene, three nights ago, when they'd finally found Morgan. They'd feared for his life the entire time he'd been missing, but never more so than when they'd entered that house and found him. He'd been burned, and bloodied, his hand pierced through by a knife.

"I still can't believe it," she said. "I mean, I know anything can happen to anyone. Look at what happened to us."

Each taken, and tortured, the hideous cost of the work they did.

Reid reached over and patted her leg, a gesture of solidarity with his fellow member of a club to which no one ever wanted to belong.

"I know," he said, "but….. _Morgan_. I never thought it could happen to Morgan."

She knew exactly what he meant. "He's always been our tough guy. He's the one you expect to ride in to the rescue."

"And yet, when _he_ needed _us_ , we couldn't rescue him."

She heard the recrimination in his voice, but didn't think it warranted.

"We found him, Spence. We couldn't keep him from being taken, but we found him. And you _did_ save him. He would have been killed, for sure, if you hadn't taken the shot."

He could only shake his head. "He saved himself. Look at what they'd put him through, and he still fought back."

"He fought to survive. Just like you did. Just like I did. And Hotch, and Emily, and Pen. And Elle."

He listened silently to the litany of names, keenly aware of the one that hadn't made the list. They'd all been through trauma, some more than others, some more deeply wounded, both physically and emotionally. But Gideon, alone, hadn't survived.

"I only did what any one of us would have done. Any of us would have taken that shot."

"But _you_ wanted it."

It had struck her, because it was so unlike Reid to be aggressive with an unsub. _Unless one of us is in danger. That's when he gets that look on his face._ She'd last seen it just a few weeks before, when an unsub had aimed his shot at her.

"I wanted Morgan to come out of it...whatever 'it' was...alive. I would have done anything it took. I just wish..."

He wished none of it had happened at all. He wished _he_ could have borne it, instead of someone he cared so much about. He wished he could have been more to Morgan, because Morgan had been so much to him.

She heard what he hadn't said. "He'll make it, Spence. They _told_ us he would. And they also told us he would be out of it for a few days. So, I'm back to my original question. Why have you been here this entire time?"

He hung his head in a way that looked like defeat, and she didn't understand.

"Spence?" Her hand rubbed circles on his back.

He just shook his head, not able to find quite the right words. Some feelings couldn't be described, no matter the size of one's vocabulary. Still, he tried.

"I don't know. I just know I can't leave. I just….. I can't do it again, JJ. I don't have anything left, it's not in me. I know it's completely selfish. But I can't. I can't lose someone _else_ I care about."

 _That_ , JJ understood all too well. They'd all been through losses, some individual, some shared. But the man beside her had seen almost nothing _but_ loss, for a decade now.

She got down from her perch and squatted in front of him, forcing his attention. She steadied herself with her hands on his knees.

"We're not going to lose him. They told us that. He's out because they put him out, so he can heal. He's coming back to us, Spence."

He nodded, ever so slightly, in that way of his.

"I know. It's just…. I just need to be here when that happens. I don't know why. I guess….. he's just important to me. Like a brother…or who I think a brother _would_ be like, I guess." Never having had one.

She smiled encouragingly. "I get the feeling he thinks of you the same way."

Another half smile. "Sure. I'm the annoying kid brother."

She laughed. "Well … you and Michael can bond over that" She waited for him to react before adding, "Seriously, Spence, You and Morgan….honestly, I never could have predicted it, but I think he cares about you every bit as much as you care about him."

Now he outright guffawed. "I couldn't have predicted it, either." His eyes stared ahead, but he was looking inward, captured by the flood of images, of scene after scene featuring himself and the man inside the hospital room. "He turned it all upside down."

"What?"

JJ's legs were cramping, and she nearly lost her balance trying to stand. Reid helped her back up, so she could take her seat beside him once again.

"Morgan turned it all upside down."

"What does that mean?"

"He changed everything. Do you remember back when I started with the BAU?"

She'd been there a few months before him.

"Yes…."

"I was afraid of him."

"Of _Morgan_?" Sounding incredulous.

"Yes, of Morgan. He was, basically, the embodiment of everyone….well, every _guy_ , anyway…. who'd ever put me through anything. And, believe me, there was a lot of 'anything'."

Not daring to mention who'd been the embodiment of every beautiful, blonde-haired _girl_ who'd tortured him. But _that_ stereotype had been shattered as well.

"What changed that?"

He shrugged. "Partly, the fact that I'm around to tell the story. If Morgan had been who I thought he was, I wouldn't have survived."

"But Morgan's _not_ like that," she insisted.

"I know that _now_. But, when Gideon first brought me in….I pretty much hid from him any time someone else wasn't around, just in case."

The tension of a few days ago had diminished, and she relished the opportunity to laugh.

"Did that include me? Was I supposed to save you from big, bad, teddy bear Morgan?"

"Maybe." His shy smile now. "Definitely Elle."

She chuckled. "You're right. I think Elle could have taken him. She'd have lacerated him with her tongue."

Now _he_ laughed. "Yeah, I guess she was capable of inflicting some damage." He was quiet for a moment, before adding, "She was the first one who left."

"She was troubled, Spence."

"Aren't we all? I mean, how does _anyone_ do this job….how does anyone get through _life,_ for that matter, without being troubled?"

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each visited by memories of their own lives, and the lives of those they cared about, and the troubles each of those lives had seen. It could have been a depressing exercise, had not so many of those obstacles been overcome.

JJ voiced what both of them had been thinking. "He's been through a lot. He doesn't show it, most of the time, but it's there. He'll come through this, too."

"He has to."

Reid actually shivered at the thought of any other outcome.

It was the visceral reaction of the bullied young boy who'd not been able to trust or rely on anyone but himself. Reid knew the others cared about him, and would look out for him. He even knew that JJ loved him, in her own way. But the frightened child who'd remained at his core for so very long had been most deeply touched by the gruff, buff male profiler who _could_ have become his newest tormenter, but had not.

Even after all these years, he didn't think she would quite understand how it had been for him. For all the things he'd shared with JJ, there were still so many things he'd held back.

 _Some things are just too big. They penetrate too deeply. They turn you inside out. You need a safe place. And Morgan is that, for me._

So, as much as he loved her, and as much as he respected Hotch and idolized Gideon, he'd only chosen to share the deep, dark parts of his life with Morgan. Those memories that had been so scathing, those fears that had threatened his sleep, even his very sanity…..those he'd only given to the man now lying in a hospital bed. Because Morgan made him feel safe in a way that no one else ever had. If truth be told, he was sure, no one else ever would.

Looking back to the beginning, he could never have predicted it.

The transformation of their relationship….the _foundation_ of their relationship, for that matter, had been slow, and tentative, on both sides, built brick by experiential brick. That it had happened at all was providential, because, in a very real way, it had been _unwanted_ by both of them.

Morgan hadn't known quite what to make of 'Gideon's newest project', as Reid had heard himself described. And Reid hadn't, as he'd told JJ, been able to let his guard down around the man who'd looked like he could take him out with a deep breath...and might very well enjoy the event.

But there was something about the work they did...the danger, the shared sense of battle...whatever it was, there was something that drew the unlikely pair together. Maybe it was the need for solidarity in the face of true evil. Maybe neither seemed as much of an enigma to the other when compared with the psychological dysfunction of an unsub. Maybe it was the unconscious realization that the things that separated them weren't as important, or as big, as the things that brought them together.

Whatever it was, they'd bridged the distance between them.

 _That's what it was, really_ , thought Reid. _There was always too much treacherous ground between us. All we could do was to build a bridge._

Remarkably, they'd met each other half way. Reid, more experienced at masking his fear than Morgan was at masking his distaste, had reached out first, taking chances with the sharing of an interesting tidbit or piece of trivia. Not that Morgan had found them all that interesting.

 _I remember the first time he tried to shut me up with 'don't make me hit you', I thought he might actually do it. I think I hid behind JJ the whole rest of the day. Then I caught on. It was just his way of telling me I was annoying him. Like a little brother._

JJ saw the smile cross Reid's face and was curious about what had brought him relief from his worry.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Brothers."

She grinned. "You guys. I swear, if Henry and Michael grow up to be like you and Morgan…"

"I hope they do. I hope Henry is, to Michael, everything that Morgan is to me. Because that will make Michael one lucky boy. And man. And it will make me one very proud godfather."

"And Henry will be lucky to have Michael to look up to him. And I'll bet Michael ends up teaching him a thing or two."

"Like what?" Curious as to what the kid brother might have to offer.

"Like…. Well, like how you can find yourself following in the path of some gigantic footsteps, and still manage to fill them. How to find them inspiring instead of intimidating. Or how it's important to find your _own_ gifts, and use them. I remember that, from Roz. I wanted so much to be like her, but my dad always told me to cultivate my own fields."

In reaction to his noncomprehending squint, she explained, "I grew up in farm country, remember?"

"Ah."

Another moment of silence passed between them before Reid asked, "JJ, do you think Henry is happy to be a big brother?"

A little nonplussed at how much he found himself hanging on her answer. But, somehow, it seemed important that he know.

The young mother smiled. "He's thrilled. But he's more than a little bit impatient. He's got all sorts of plans, and he keeps asking how long it will be before Michael can get on board. He just really, really, wants to share the things he enjoys with his little brother."

Reid chuckled. "Hmph. Reminds me of the time Morgan roped me into playing softball."

"But that was great! Look how it turned out…you hit a home run!"

He'd been mortified that she'd been there, and even more so that she'd brought Henry. But then he'd been elated, that they'd been witness to his triumph. And it had only happened through the encouragement…well, all right, the _bossiness_ , of Morgan.

"Maybe Michael is going to learn that big brothers know what they're talking about," he said. "That all they really want to do is encourage you."

"And maybe Henry is going to learn to love his little brother for who he is, and all the wonderful gifts he has, even if they're different from his own."

Reid was quiet for a long moment, and JJ knew he'd gone deep inside. She'd long ago learned to wait for him to emerge again. When he did, his words told her where he'd been.

"I hope Michael realizes how lucky he is, to have a brother. I know Henry will be someone he can look up to. Someone who looks out for him. Someone who cares when he's hurting."

She narrowed her eyes at the last. She knew they weren't just talking about Henry and Michael. But she hadn't been privy to the exchange between her two male colleagues, a few weeks ago.

"Like Morgan does for you?"

Reid's mind had replayed the scene so often that he could almost feel Morgan's arms around him, almost hear all those things his good friend hadn't been able to find the words to say. He'd been reeling from the news about his mother's status, battered by her very obvious failure to recognize him, frightened at the prospect of it happening to him, one day, as well. He'd been feeling isolated, abandoned, untethered…..until the clasp of Derek Morgan grounded him. The man he'd once feared, now his protector, his vanguard against the unknown.

It was too intimate a memory to share. So he said, simply, "Yes."

All she could tell was that there was something she wasn't going to know about. And that it weighed heavily in the heart of her best friend. But she _did_ know _him_ , and she knew what he needed to hear.

"I hope you're right. And I hope Michael knows how to be there for Henry, too. Sometimes brothers have to share the load. One carries when the other can't."

As _he_ had done, in finding Morgan. As he _would_ do, in whatever Morgan needed for recovery.

The door next to them opened, and Penelope Garcia emerged from Morgan's hospital room.

"Huh? Oh, hi! What are you guys doing out here? Wait, never mind. You have to hear this…..he woke up! Derek's awake! Oh, my God, I'm so happy I could bake a cake! Or maybe a pie. Or...oh, I know, I could make some of those things he loves...you know, the gooey ones. Turtles, that's what they are! Not the amphibian kind, but the chocolate and caramel ones. That's what I'll do! Chocolate for my Chocolate Thunder!"

"Turtles are reptiles, Garcia, not amphibians." He couldn't help himself. "It's a common misclassification, but…"

"Is that Pretty Boy I hear out there?" The voice coming from inside the room was much weaker than usual, but the eponym was unmistakable.

A light came back into the genius' eyes, just before he closed them in thanksgiving. His brother wouldn't be leaving him this day, nor this way.

 _When we say goodbye, it will be because there are better things in store for us._

But, for now, there was only reunion, and celebration. Reid alighted from his perch on the window ledge and pulled JJ along with him.

"Actually," he announced, as they entered the room, "I prefer "Kid."


End file.
